A wise scholar once wrote “Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.”
Unfortunately, that has happened far too often with this book, an ancient tome steeped in abjuration and summoning magic, uncovered by the Acolytes of Karakoth in one of their excavations.
Some people say their body is a temple… this guy’s body is a bouncy castle
If you too would like a beach-bod comparable to the Hellspawn, all you have to do is follow these simple rules:
If nobody sees you eating the Goblin, the Goblin contains no calories.
Your pants will never get too tight if you don’t wear any.
Goblins are green, vegetables are green, therefore Goblins are salad.
Never stuff something in your mouth that is bigger than your head.
A balanced meal plan involves a Goblin in both hands.
