Orcs, Heroes, and Brown Mana Kingdoms

I hold Orcs sacred, in the way farmers hold dirt sacred, in the way Sam Kinison held rage sacred. I don’t think everyone has to hold Orcs sacred. What a boring world it would be if everyone liked the same things.

Others have posed questions concerning Orcs, Heroes, and Brown Mana Kingdoms.

From @anhlong
From @Grundulum

@Awryan was kind enough to post a theory on the hatred directed towards Orcs:

Is he right? I know that is the popular position. I know a lot of people believe that. I wish I could believe that, but I was there. I wasn’t in some forum thinking I was right, hoping I was right. I was up to my knees in Puddlings, slugging it out with @sirrian, while Elves, Fey, and Blue Mana users were hugging trees, kissing gems, and listening to the Gaard/Mang Battle Anthems. Argh Aaargh.

Sorry. I’m bored, and Starrz had Back to School on the other day…RIP Mr. Kinison. Perhaps one day my Orc Summoner will summon you from the dead. Until then, I shall channel my Rage in your honor.


So no one else wants to join the conversation? Very well. Well perhaps someone could tell me why: in LotR: TTT, Saruman didn’t use his palantir to foresee the possibility of an Ent attack; push those walking matchsticks back into Fangorn Forest; and burn that infernal place to the ground. Tell me why, say it. Say it, argh.

Tbh, I didn’t rewatch the whole Back to School movie. I merely fast forwded to that scene. It probably would’ve been easier to find a clip on the intersweb, but I don’t do too well with technology. I luv me some rage, tho. For the Horde.

Let’s not bicker and argue over who used whom. I recently discovered a database composed by @lyya. Thank you so much for making and maintaining that.

While poking around, I discovered I have the highest single faction treasure hoard amongst Xbox Players that have linked their accounts. (353, for ASE, done before potions).

And after realizing that the Invasion column meant “PvP Invasions”, I found some disturbing information:

Have I not always tried to be true to the Orcish way of life? Have I not tried to Raid and battle in a manner consistent with the sometimes brutish lifestyle of a ‘mindless’ brute. And this day’s lawlessness, in which I have discovered that someone used Mab over 3k times while logged in on my account, is how I am repaid.

An assault on me, is an assault on the Warboss himself. So be it. We shall settle this in next week’s War of Guilds.

Black Beast number 19. fun times. Anyone else notice the Beast is listed as “Support”? “Hey, I noticed you are wounded. Let me help ease your suffering.” “wait, no, what are you doing? Aargh!”


I am bumping this to let you know I love the way your mind works and I want there to be more posts

For the Horde :joy:

1 Like

@Actreal posted that 20 hours ago…so it only took me 20 hours to figure out that Invasions meant PvP. I kept looking at it and thinking "What, why would I care about Invasions? And even if I did, why not Raids as well? And why would @Lyya have those and not PvP which is what I actually care about. 20 hours, small brains, large fists.

Thank you, @Magnusimus. My mind doesn’t always work quickly, but it does work occasionally.

Back in the day, I’d use the Lion Prince vs Forest Giant/Gorgotha teams to stun them, so my Beast in 2nd position could then eat the Prince and skull bash them. The Spider spawns would help the boar rider set up skulls, and allow the Beast to heal. Vs VJM teams with Kraken instead of Tank, I’d use Forest Guardian instead of Prince. And Goblins vs all the rest.

It must have been when I went dark for 8 months that somebody used Mab…that’s my story, and I’m sticking to it. Elves, Fey, and users of Blue Mana…the rage is building just thinking about them again. Gonna bash them Elvses good come Tuesday. For the Horde.

[spoiler] In truth, we were in B1 and B2, before the Color of the Day bonus, and VJM were the only troops I had that could go 5/0 vs top guilds on a consistent basis. I had to do something to freeze those stupid wisp teams. And when I returned, it took me 2 months to find a Yao Guai. But I’m done with Mab now, her and her frozen kittens. Mittens? I have problems hearing. I’m convinced the Apothecary swears at me when she casts…sounds like ‘Spit’ to me.

And explosion troops like Infernos still bother my eyes. But I shall endeavor to persevere. [/spoiler]


Chunky’s Raidersders ders derp. The first word in Xbox Guild Wars. First word.

Looters. Pillagers. Spiked wooden clubs.

Security. Research and Development. Yesterday, we threw a Puddling against a wall, and it…it dried.

Skirmishers. Insurgents? Possibly you.

To join, msg ChunkyMono at Gamertag: chunky mono.

Gold: 420
Seals: 420
Trophies: 4…Chunky’s Raiders does not advocate or support the use of Puddlings. Long term effects include but are not limited to: paranoia, hysteria, delusions of grandeur, and an intense hatred of Elves, Fey, Lapinas, and Users of Blue Mana. If you notice these symptoms, please discontinue using Puddling and seek immediate psychological help.


Fire and wind come from the sky, from the gods of the sky. But Zorn is my god, and he lives in the earth. Lapinas also live in the earth, and in the darkness of chaos, they fooled Zorn, and they stole from him the enigma that is Puddling.

Zorn was angered, and the earth shook. Fire and wind struck down the Lapinas, and cast their bodies into the Warrens. But in their rage, the gods forgot Puddling and left him on the battlefield. Who found it? Not gods, not Lapinas, but me.

I have learned his riddle well, for no one in Krystara can I trust. Not Elves. Not Fey. Not Blue Mana users. Puddling, Puddling I can trust.

This is my Puddling. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My Puddling is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. I must learn to hurl my Puddling true. I must hurl my Puddling better than the Elves who are trying to kill me. I will.

Before Zorn I swear this creed, until there are no Guild Wars. Just peas. And rabbit stew.


The Warrens have been overrun, Pan’s Vale is set to be overrun, and even ChunkyMono is now saying that that Delve is now unwinnable. In other words, its just one giant Puddling sandwich and we all gotta take a bite.

And it also means Princess Elspeth is not coming. Phrasing.

I wish our pets got bigger depending on their rarity, so I could have a Puddling of mythical proportions on me shoulder. Muahaha.

The duality of Puddling. Sometimes I love it, sometimes, not so much.

@ChunkyMono I have a terrible confession to make:

I place my fate in your hands.


This game can be quite streaky at times. I’m glad they finally gave you another color other than Blue to upgrade. Normally I have the opposite problem. It is a bit odd that both colors have been Blue tho. Unless…no, that’s impossible…have you been?

Zorn help us all, @Jonathan is a Blue Mana User. To arms, Raiders. No one is safe.


I have a question re: Pet Collusion. If I were to post it in a separate thread, it would no doubt be dubbed an exploit, and soon rendered inoperable by the powers that be.

When I was recruiting Raiders for my Guild, I would often wait until a Pet Battle was active, and then say “Join us in the next 50 minutes to help hunt ‘x’ to extinction”. (This was before I knew extra pets could be used for food). I don’t even know if it is possible. Can new Guild members join in active pet events?

I know new additions cannot collect guild rewards previously collected in other guilds, nor can they collect rewards from guild events completed prior to their arrival. I switched guilds was following a GW, and missed out on a few Invasion rewards. But I thought I could join a Pet Event. It could be I mis-remember.

Pet Siege Worldwide, a new family of guilds, where players could join in pet battles from baited pet gnomes. I wouldn’t spend money on one, even if it would help all 30 members of my guild. (No offense to any Raiders reading this). But if players rotate out every 8 to 10 minutes, and that Gnome could potentially service 180 players…and I could finish a few Pet battles in the sister guilds…then that might be something worth investigating.

Most players wouldn’t want to do this. I know there is a certain prestige to being in one guild for ‘x’ amount of days. And once a guild is left, it takes an ginvite to return before the 48 hr cooling off period. So, perhaps it is just a pipedream, not even possible if it were permissible. Still, I dream of a day where all players, whether they be Orcs, Goblins, Giants, Dragons, Wargare, Centaurs or Taurans, can join together and hunt Leaffette and Feyrie into extinction.

Yeah, I never did get any recruits thru global chat with that message either. gl hf


So, last December, before the latest Star Wars movie came out, I had this dream where I was in the SW universe. That alien assassin that could morph into different forms had obtained a new power, where it could read the mind of it’s intended target, and morph into the most loved entity of said target.

Naturally, since it was my dream, I was the hero tasked with tracking down and destroying the assassin. Sensing it was about to be defeated, it hastily transformed into my ex-wife. I laughed out loud, and said “You have failed. I no longer have any feelings for her. I know you are the assassin I was sent to kill.”

I saw the look of fear in my ex-wife’s eyes as she asked “What is an Asari”?

True Story. In my opinion, the one corrupted by the Thorien was my favorite. Greenskin til I die, and that was before I played Gems. Obviously. Also, I would never harm my ex-wife. It was an alien assassin, and a dream, and I woke up before killing it/her.

1 Like

I seriously want you to consider joining your Raiders’ banner to ours; the Unforgiven Family could certainly use good orcs like you (and I would love to read more of your antics in our discord server :joy:)

1 Like

We are not currently on discord. We briefly had a member suggest we join, to which my brother said the last thing he needs is his phone blowing up with another of my rants. :blush:

(the guy who suggested we join left a few days later, one of the few defectors we’ve had. I think most guild members either tolerate my ramblings, ignore them, or don’t speak English. They do suggest team comps tho, so we got that going for us).

I’m not familiar with how discord works. I might give it a look tomorrow. Thanks.


It’s a rainy Tuesday, I’ve already got Amanithrax to 2500, and I don’t feel like doing Dooms.

In addition, one of our top Raiders announces he is taking a break from the game, while a second is approaching the Zzzz’s indicator.

I decide to take a nap, but I find no rest…

I’m a ghost, or maybe a spirit. But I’m not bound to a specific place (which were those again?), so I decide to leave this planet behind and explore the universe.

Wouldn’t you know it, but the first species I encounter can detect spirits, and capture my essence ghostbuster-style. They return me to my physical form so that they can perform experiments on me. “I’m just looking for some Asari” I yell to no avail. Evil bug-like creatures.

I break free, but can only find a scalpel, when what I really need is a warhammer. Or better yet, a phase plasma rifle with a 30 watt range. The scalpel was designed to cut me, not penetrate their exoskeleton.

My rage :rage: wakes me up, not allowing me to finish my quest. I’ll continue my search another time, ladies. “I am Krogan!” When I’m not an Orc.

I searched for Dralasite on the intersweb, which took me to a site about the Sathar, but I didn’t see the name for the mantis-folk. Dralasites were my favorites back then, with their sense of humor. Gotta have fun, that’s my policy. That, and bashing Elves. For the Horde.

Edit: Vrusk was the name that eluded me, but I remember it now. I did have to look up Yazarian, though I remembered it began with a Y. The bugs seemed to look more like Keepers tho, which would make more sense being in an Asari universe. But the Keepers were a mindless relic, from a bygone era. I doubt they would have ghostbuster technology, plus they were rather frail; No match for a mindless Orc, even if unarmed. Therefore, I’m going with Vrusk.

1 Like

Two and one half hours until reset, when we will find out which guilds we will be competing against. Only one thing is certain: We won’t be fight a bracket of dead guilds. Not this time at least.

I hate recruiting. I’ve been thinking of ways to attract more candidates. I guess I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue, because I’ve been thinking of the types of recruitment packages I could put together, and how I could market them as Chunky’s Raiders: The New “New”. (coming soon to an XBox recruitment thread near you).

These packages would be loosely based upon people and characters from past life experiences. (Possible spoilers beware)

The Liara T'soni

Liara reminded me a lot of my ex-wife. Relatively inexperienced when we first met, barely finished with her academic studies. Together we worked together, learning new skill sets, until she was able to move on and become the Shadow Broker.

And dump me. It’s not that I am bitter. It’s just that focusing on that ‘betrayal’ (it wasn’t, in both cases the split was amicable) helps divert focus from the next encounter.

So, under the “LT” Plan, the Raiders would share our knowledge and expertise to help recruits advance to bigger and better things.

The Jack

There once was an Orc from Grosh-Nak
Who loved an Adept named Jack
When he’d raise his warhammer (never vs her, mind you)
His foes would often stammer
"Pl-please don’t sm-smash my nuts-aach!

Too much glue.

Jack was wild, independent, and far more skilled and powerful than I was. She carried me. And yet, she was difficult for me to maintain a dialogue with. Too often, I would say the wrong thing, and she would shut down, or shut me out. Fortunately, that’s what game saves are for. Unfortunately, those only work in games. And even then, the game occasionally conspires to end a relationship.

So under The “J” Plan, recruits would benefit from our low gold (only 420) and trophy reqs, as well as not having to listen to my burdensome conversations, while they instead focus on fighting Delves, levelingKingdoms and Hoards, and living their own life without entanglements. Fare thee well, mighty warriors.

The Andromeda

After Jack, I just didn’t want to get involved. Still don’t. There was this guy in WoW, right before a PvP battle, “Hey Sweetie”. Dressed like a Troll female. “You got the wrong guy, buddy”. “Maybe”. “Whatever, what do u need”. I’m all for helping a friend or guildmate out, but be at least be a Blood Elf like my ex, or a Goblin like my friend. Stoopid troll, fooling no one.

So I take this guy in, train him, craft armor, gems, the works. 6 months later, I’m fighting 1 vs 3, and holding my own. I see him come online, and ask for assistance, and dude shows up for the Alliance…double agent muther trucker. 1 vs 4, Elves have no honor (I think he was Dranei. Still, you get my meaning)

Too many of those Andromeda NPC were deceitful, flirtatious, and not to my liking. But they helped advance the storyline, for at least a little while. They’ll never replace Jack.

So under the “A” Plan, come on in, help the guild if you want. Stay active. I’ll most likely kick you if you don’t. 420 Seals required.

Idk, it’s gotta be better than the dental plan I proposed in that now dead thread. I hate recruiting.

Msg chunky mono with your desired plan option, and as an added bonus, if you win Paragon, we might even promote you to Warboss. Mites crawl up a Warg’s butt tho. No promises. Our current Warboss has led us to all the best fights.

Edit: Tol Barad was the name of the Battleground. I wore it’s the Hellscream’s Reach tabard with pride. I don’t recall my foe’s name. Why would I? He fought 4 vs 1 like a cowardly soul.



Been many weeks since I been here, in these rants, I was wasting my time away.

To the left and to the right, Drakes are ready to take flight in the dead of night. It’s gonna be quite a fight.

Ever play a game so much you have dreams about it? For me, it was kind of the opposite. Zorn came to me in a dream last night, while I was matching 3s and 4s of a kind. I hadn’t played Gems much in the past three weeks. Our guild, once 186 in Trophies, has slipped to 191. Maybe lower. We never put much emphasis on trophies. GW is our focus. And I am our Paragon.

But in my dream, I had returned to It Burns When I PvP. I loved that Guild, and it will always burn when I PvP. But why was I there? How could I leave the Raiders, Chunky’s Raiders, right before a GW, and when I was Paragon, no less? And I left them without even saying goodbye.

I struggled with my thoughts, and actions. Surely I would have to return to the Raiders. Our Warboss had led us to the biggest and bestest fights. But that would mean I would have to leave It Burns for a third time. They definitely would never take me back for a fourth time if I did that. But I also wasn’t sure if the Raiders would take me back.

Thankfully, it was just a dream, and I am still a Raider, preparing to defend Paragon in the coming war. I haven’t been playing much Gems these past few weeks. I think Zorn was trying to tell me I’ve been neglecting my fellow Raiders. Or perhaps it was just my subconscious, making me feel guilty.

Either way, I’m back. Back in a Guild Wars mood. Guild Wars mood

Can’t wait. :axe::rage::shield:


Recovering Blue Mana user, reporting for duty. I wish to relate my Orcish progress.

It has been many moons since I last upgraded my Blue Mana Mastery – in fact, I have been sober since my first confession:

I am not the biggest, nor the baddest – that honour of course belongs to Sñr Chunky – but I believe that I have become quite reasonably-sized, and at least a little bit naughty. Earlier this morning, the game recognised my growing strength (and number of skulls smashed):

I’d like to thank the Horde for their support, and my ever-meatier fists. I apologise for writing so many long words, and all next to each other as well.

I hope to report many more smashed skulls in the future. Maybe they’ll introduce Elite Levels for Puddlings.

Zug zug.


You have done well, Barbarian. Well played.

I have been mired in an endless ground war in Mordor for the past fourteen days. Brutal. I lost so many times trying to defend the gates that Shelob herself laughed at me just now. “It’s not you” she says. At least I haven’t had to fight the Blue Wizards whose names Gandalf could never recall.