Two and one half hours until reset, when we will find out which guilds we will be competing against. Only one thing is certain: We won’t be fight a bracket of dead guilds. Not this time at least.
I hate recruiting. I’ve been thinking of ways to attract more candidates. I guess I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue, because I’ve been thinking of the types of recruitment packages I could put together, and how I could market them as Chunky’s Raiders: The New “New”. (coming soon to an XBox recruitment thread near you).
These packages would be loosely based upon people and characters from past life experiences. (Possible spoilers beware)
The Liara T'soni
Liara reminded me a lot of my ex-wife. Relatively inexperienced when we first met, barely finished with her academic studies. Together we worked together, learning new skill sets, until she was able to move on and become the Shadow Broker.
And dump me. It’s not that I am bitter. It’s just that focusing on that ‘betrayal’ (it wasn’t, in both cases the split was amicable) helps divert focus from the next encounter.
So, under the “LT” Plan, the Raiders would share our knowledge and expertise to help recruits advance to bigger and better things.
The Jack
There once was an Orc from Grosh-Nak
Who loved an Adept named Jack
When he’d raise his warhammer (never vs her, mind you)
His foes would often stammer
"Pl-please don’t sm-smash my nuts-aach!
Too much glue.
Jack was wild, independent, and far more skilled and powerful than I was. She carried me. And yet, she was difficult for me to maintain a dialogue with. Too often, I would say the wrong thing, and she would shut down, or shut me out. Fortunately, that’s what game saves are for. Unfortunately, those only work in games. And even then, the game occasionally conspires to end a relationship.
So under The “J” Plan, recruits would benefit from our low gold (only 420) and trophy reqs, as well as not having to listen to my burdensome conversations, while they instead focus on fighting Delves, levelingKingdoms and Hoards, and living their own life without entanglements. Fare thee well, mighty warriors.
The Andromeda
After Jack, I just didn’t want to get involved. Still don’t. There was this guy in WoW, right before a PvP battle, “Hey Sweetie”. Dressed like a Troll female. “You got the wrong guy, buddy”. “Maybe”. “Whatever, what do u need”. I’m all for helping a friend or guildmate out, but be at least be a Blood Elf like my ex, or a Goblin like my friend. Stoopid troll, fooling no one.
So I take this guy in, train him, craft armor, gems, the works. 6 months later, I’m fighting 1 vs 3, and holding my own. I see him come online, and ask for assistance, and dude shows up for the Alliance…double agent muther trucker. 1 vs 4, Elves have no honor (I think he was Dranei. Still, you get my meaning)
Too many of those Andromeda NPC were deceitful, flirtatious, and not to my liking. But they helped advance the storyline, for at least a little while. They’ll never replace Jack.
So under the “A” Plan, come on in, help the guild if you want. Stay active. I’ll most likely kick you if you don’t. 420 Seals required.
Idk, it’s gotta be better than the dental plan I proposed in that now dead thread. I hate recruiting.
Msg chunky mono with your desired plan option, and as an added bonus, if you win Paragon, we might even promote you to Warboss. Mites crawl up a Warg’s butt tho. No promises. Our current Warboss has led us to all the best fights.
Edit: Tol Barad was the name of the Battleground. I wore it’s the Hellscream’s Reach tabard with pride. I don’t recall my foe’s name. Why would I? He fought 4 vs 1 like a cowardly soul.
wakes me up, not allowing me to finish my quest. I’ll continue my search another time, ladies. “I am Krogan!” When I’m not an Orc.
