Porch Bunny Theft: A Tale of Mystery and Woe


#1

I wanted to come over here to the off topic forum to escape the unjust, prejudicial, narrow-minded bigotry ensuing, in other forums, against the friendly and loving Goblins of Krystara. Next time just try walking a mile in their tiny, tiny shoes before being critical. It ain’t easy being green, bro. Off the record, I think they are being reviled because of their small stature—summary below:


But that is not why I am here. No, no, no. I am here to give you all a glimpse of unlawful activity; nay, of an overweening violation of morality and human dignity. In short, a recent real life crime that took place at my home.

Brace yourselves, this post just might put the emo in emotional. WARNING: If you are a bag-snatching, safecracking, purse pilfering, kleoptomaniac then you might want to stop reading here.


This post goes out to the person who stole our stone porch bunny.

  • I hope that she gives you as much joy as she gave our family.

  • I hope that she watches over your family as faithfully as she watched over ours.

  • And I hope you stub the dickens out of your toe on her the next time you return home with more of your ill-gotten gain.

Vaya con Dios, beloved porch bunny!


#2

So sorry for your loss :disappointed_relieved:
(but your post turned my frown upside down)


#3

I thank you. That makes me feel better.

For some reason, the police officer who took my statement said, “uh … sir … umm … you want to report the theft of a … a what?”


#4

Maybe you’ll get a ransome note…(kit-napped)