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34 Reasons You Shouldn't Explore Any Kingdom

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Very dangerous. Does lots of Pew Pew Pew. Can quickly kill your whole team. Avoid.
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Will literally kill your whole team with 4+ matches.
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You have to kill about a hundred of these to win.
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Enjoy fighting with half your team on turn 4.
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The original Lord of Slaughter.
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Oh, you like being a Giant Toad? That’s what I thought.
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Stunned for days.
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That’s a nice tank you got there, would be a shame if someone… moved him…
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5000 Dragon Eggs later.
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Yeah just go ahead and kill my entire team in one loop, thanks.
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Actually this place isn’t so dangerous, but an Owlbear should be way more frightening than this. Owls are supposed to be super intelligent and bears are mega strong and fierce. Just what went wrong here?
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This isn’t even my final form… What? I’m at 5 health? I think I’ll just…
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This isn’t even my final form… What? I’m at 5 health? I think I’ll just…
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This isn’t even my final form… What? I’m at 5 health? I think I’ll just…
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Heard you like Icestorms…
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Sure is a lot of Magic you’ve got there… be a shame if someone… added it all up…
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You’re gonna need more skulls…
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By the time this guy is dead, everyone below him has like 10,000 Attack.
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Don’t even think about trying to cast anything!
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40% is like 100% on bad days
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You now have 0 to all skills.
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The troops start coming and they don’t stop coming!
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You might as well browse the Gems of War forums while she’s casting and killing your whole team.
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The stronger you get, the more it hurts!
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Just… I don’t want to talk about it.
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Cleanse? Barrier? Destroy a row? Gain armor and life? Skull damage reduction? And only costs 12 mana? What doesn’t this guy have going for him…
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Not only am I going to make you kill your allies, but I’m going to make you useless for the rest of the fight too!
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Doesn’t even care about your skull damage reduction! Stunned!
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Straight up murders your troops, then summons more troops for herself! This is an outrage!
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Has approximately 1 million armor, give or take.

Urskaya is too pathetic to even list here… everyone is just really angry there

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You ever let this guy get a cast off? You know what I’m talking about…
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This guy will loop through your whole team till nothing is left.
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Extra turn. Extra turn. Extra turn.
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Don’t bring a skull fight up against this guy…

19 Likes

Remember when they “fixed” infernal king? Me neither.

Webspinner is still broke 3rd trait dmg when not poisoned.

Webbed or poisoned. And it is ridiculous.

You forgot Whitehelm Paladin … nice life you have there; sorry I had to take it on round 2.

1 Like

The OP is still loading. (May want to hide the images in future posts so people can see them if they want to. But won’t distract (or prevent) from your point going across.)

Hey, I want to thank you for thinking my post actually had a point. I was just super bored at work, haha. There is some truth to it though, but there are very few kingdoms I actually avoid, but when I can:

  • Sin of Maraj because of Devour mechanic RNG
  • Blackhawk because of Megavore third trait RNG
  • Zaejin because of goblins looping (it’s just slow, not hard)
  • Dragon’s Claw because of Egg Thief (super slow)

That’s pretty much it.

3 Likes

I’m glad you were bored at work — this was the best part of my day by far, and I thank you for the laughs when I needed them :joy:

2 Likes

Testicles, for one (or two, depending how you want to count it).

3 Likes

This is hilarious, because it’s true.

1 Like

Post op sex change?