Actually I’ve been to LAX so many time, I’m kind of numb to the experience… I just waddle through, grab my bags, and catch the bus to the Rental Cars.
However, I should tell you all a story about our Australian airline, QANTAS.
I hate to rag on my own countrymen, but I’m going to anyway 
so here it goes…
Now I NEVER normally travel QANTAS, because the last 2 times I did (11 and 12 years ago respectively) it was a conglomeration of late flights, incorrect bookings, and one case of a 16 hour flight where they forgot to pack enough meals to feed the last 10 rows… where they then proceeded to feed the first 68 rows all 3 meals, and the last rows none (I was in row 76)…
BUT… I figured it MUST have gotten better - even just a bit. And although I only needed to connect to a United flight for Sydney-to-San Francisco, that little 1hr Melbourne-to-Sydney flight couldn’t possibly hurt… could it? So I booked a 1hr QANTAS connecting flight.
Thus QANTAS’ trolling of me began anew.
The 1hr connecting flight promptly sat on the runway in Melbourne for 90 minutes, with various excuses. And by the time I get to Sydney International Airport and use the dodgy QANTAS connecting transportation, which should take 15 min max, but instead takes 45 minues… the United flight has closed its doors, and is leaving.
“Never Fear!” says the QANTAS rep who jumps in to help as I’m explaining my plight to United. It’s OUR fault… we’ll get you there on a QANTAS plane! Today!
At this point, I should have simply punched the QANTAS rep in the throat, booked a hotel (or a jail cell) for the night and gone on United the next day… but I had a brief moment of optimism, and instead, said “Sure, that’d be great, thanks!”
So QANTAS booked me 2 flights. Melbourne-to-Dallas, and Dallas-to-San-Francisco. That’s a little like England trying to invade Scotland by going south to sneak up on them, but hey… I thought I’d roll with it.
True to form, the QANTAS flight sat in the gate for 90 minutes due to “catering issues” (probably sourcing food for the last 10 rows after they saw the murderous glint in my eye).
And we made up a good 4-5 minutes on that 15 hour flight, which saw us land only about 86 minutes late, making it impossible to catch the connection. But that was FINE since another flight was leaving in 5 hours’ time, which we managed to catch.
FINALLY we got to San Francsico, but QANTAS weren’t quite done with us yet…
When we went to travel to LAX after the conference, we discovered one final act of masterful trolling…
QANTAS had cancelled ALL our other flights for the entire trip.
Fortunately a lovely United rep helped us out, which took her 30 minutes.
So in summary, “%#$#%^%$$ YOU, QANTAS!”
