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From the Cellar: GoW Tales of Nail-Biting Suspense

Late last night, or early this morning based on you world view, I found myself in the cringist of scenarios, there I was locked into gritty battle with the mightiest of Maws. The team I brought into this encounter was mighty, Alchemest, Green Seer, Giant Spider, and I myself playing a Cresendo on the harp. The battle was vicious and the Maw made several meals out my Green Giant Hero team, the poor little spiders that were had for dinner. No matter what I did, RNGesus would drop down skulls and the Maw would induldge.
Using my very loud musical skills I had wiped out the enemy line, but buffed with the strength of dinner, I found myself in the worst of possible places. Down to just myself and in range to smackdown the Great one, the last of the resistance, I had to make a choice, a skull match on the board in position that if I took them and launched my attack, there was a very high probability that if one yellow gem cascaded, the Maw would have power enough to put me on the menu. If I left the skulls, I could bury an assault lest She be succumb to feed. I was one match away from playing my song and took the mana I needed to do so. And in that moment, I found myself overwhelmed to pray in my sense on impending doom. So there I was, in slow motion, fingers crossed, chanting aloud: “please don’t be hungry, please don’t be hungry, please don’t be hungry, please don’t be hungry.” And I watched as the Maw took the skulls, and found she was already full. “Who’s for dinner?” "Oh no not I, I have Surived, OH MY BROTHER, TESTIFY!!!(3D)
I played my song and claimed victory for Whitehelm, and all the kingdom rejoyced.

So tell me, what was you biggest nail biter that had you on the end of your seat? And when the dust cleared, where you met with triumph… Or dispair?

Welcome to the Cellar


So I was rampaging through Krystara of an evening, as one does, with stout Gorgotha in the vanguard, my pet Giant Spider (named Horace), my Alchemist (her name’s Sarah but she will insist on wearing that damnable false beard)… And yours truly, masterfully directing affairs with the faithful wands of Sun and of Moon…

And who should we stumble upon but a veritable seething festering hovel of enmity in, of all places, hallowed Whitehelm, where the Lady Archon Mercy awaited with her forces… A rival Gorgotha (not quite as large or as pretty as mine, but a hulk of burning rocky threat just the same)… and behind them, crowned in flames, the Infernal King and the fire wyrm Sheggra… Seems I disturbed their barbecue and they responded with violence most prejudicial…

Opening exchanges went as planned, as I gathered energies of many colours to my faithful band, unleashing the flashing wrath of Sun and Moon in waves of iridescent lights, drawing on the darkness spawned by beloved Horace in alternate turns with the gleaming energies fashioned by Sarah’s alchemy (yeah the beard is really misleading, I know)… Mercy crowed her words of valediction but it availed her little and soonest enough all our foes writhed weakened and seared by my masterful magicks, whilst I grew ever in stature and puissance, swelled by the ancient lores coursing through my outstretched palms…

Yet fate is whimsical indeed, these days, with the withdrawal from Krystara of the surety of the Breaker of Combos (we miss her dearly), and as I drew forth strength for a final, all-shattering blast to clear away the foes… There came a most unexpected flux in the hues and vagaries of magics and suddenly the enemy Archon rose on her white wings and sang again (Mercy, my backside, she’s never been merciful much to the likes of me)… Her will empowered her daemonic minions and Gorgotha let loose a cannoning blast… Chaos ensued and both the Infernal King and Sheggra spewed storms of fire and destruction upon us, again and again in incessant cascades of lava and flame and raging blows, aided again and again by unforgiving twists in the aether granting unearthly vigour, power and rapidity to my shaken foes…

When finally the roar of the volcano ceased and the smoke cleared, I stood alone, scorched yet unbowed, with my Gorgotha shattered, my dear Horace crushed, my beloved Sarah fled with her beard aflame… Alone I stood, charred and battered, with desolation nagging at my heart, in eerie silence punctured only by the metallic tang of my plate armour cooling from the hellish heat which it had barely protected me from… My foes glowered, sensing victory was near and Mercy loomed above in vengeful pride…

But she had forgotten one fatal truth… For I am the Follower Of The Sword… I have eschewed honour in long forgotten days, I have forsaken my kin and driven away my allies in my sole pursuit of power at any cost (I might think differently now Sarah is on the scene, but hey we were all young once)… For I am Jainus, and I do not lose…

Angels and daemons and red dragons surrounded me, drawn in by my frailty, sensing blood and longing for the final strike, the killing blow, and yet by claw or by blade or by rock-hewn fist it did not come… There at the last, with the last dying breaths of the Whitehelm sun, I reached forth and sought again the golden energies, and there at the last, the wildness of the flux hissed and flashed and crackled again in my favour, for even such randomness heeds my will at the end of days…

And hence with Sun and with Moon, the gilded wand and the pale one of night, I loosed one last cast, one last shimmering wave of wrath… And my foes all perished together, the last sparks of their souls twinkling in futility, bound in their demise as they were bound in their bonds of battle… And victory was, as ever, mine…


So I guess I’m up to repeat the tale of how my Black Beast experience met a quite challenging foe in Royalty’s team ^^’
But let’s play by the rules and make it a tale worth telling ! Here goes :wink:

I was walking my Black Beast happily on a leash made of Giant Spider silk. I had planned for the beast to eat a real meal out of my Venoxia who, unhappy to be on the menu, had chosen to hide behind my Green Seer.

But I didn’t realize I was way out of my usual stroll way, and was imediatly greeted by Royalty riding his Celestasia, and backed up by a tempting Succubus and a not so tempting Goblin King.

Without any warning, he engaged battle from afar : using his archer skill, he made a bull’s eye on my Black Beast before the battle could even begin !

I ended up having to litterally swarm him with tiny spiders, the horde was already out to take out a huge Celestasia, no less. Behind the frontline, the succubus first tried to tempt my Enormous Spider to no avail, but then felt that my Venoxia, growing in power as she was loosing her temper, was too much of a threat and changed her focus to the not-so-strategically-important dragon. Sadly for her, the Temptress found out pretty soon that her charm was way less effective on female creatures !
Not so long after Celestasia joined the dust, Succubus was sent back to the Hell she was trying to drag us into… On her own !

Only the hideous King was left, and although it could seem like a crushing victory, it had been a rough fight, a continuous gamble, but the King had less tricks up his sleeves than his felow RNGesus dependant companion. With Green Seer continuously entangling his every muscles, he was an easy prey to my spiderlings… But big nonetheless !

The rumble had been going on for over 40 minutes, and it wasn’t RNGesus but WinDog, uh, WinGod almighty himself that descended from the skies to put an end to the fight.

And as the dust cleared, actually none of us could be declared victorious !


A tale certainly worthy of the Cellar, 2 wands to rule over all

Amazing tale, you too may seek shelter in the Cellar

clears throat

Ahem. Once I played a match. It was close. I won.

gets a sip of water


To the Attic with you lol :wink:

Welcome to GoW, Dashiel Hammett! +100!

Bumping this thread :slight_smile:

Anyone else have a story to share?

Great stories.

Jainus, your style of writing immediately reminded me of the Warhammer fantasy books Felix and Gotrek (well, the only ones I’ve read :slight_smile: ).

Bookmarked. Love the stories. :smile_cat:

I may have to work up the courage to add one.

Thanks… yeah I read those a long time ago… used to be an avid reader of fantasy (as I bet many people on this forum would be) but nowadays don’t find the time… I am (or rather will be, but only once I’ve earned enough to retire) a writer too…

Maybe someone should start a book club thread to recommend authors of fantasy… or anything else people are enjoying…

And my story above needs just one more like… someone please :slight_smile:

I would love some Audible recommendations for my long commute, if anyone has any. I’m also happy to share as well. Could certainly start a separate thread on this, if there’s interest :slight_smile:

I’m not familiar with Audible but a quick search shows that Scott Lynch is on there… his Lies Of Locke Lamora is excellent… and the sequels are there too… try that if you haven’t tried him before?

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If you haven’t read The Hyperion Cantos by Dan Simmons I highly recommend it.

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I hate to be that guy but…
Let’s stay on topic please, I’d love to read other GoW battles fables, but so far all the notifications I got for this thread (since I posted after @Jainus ) aren’t directly answering the original topic !
Oh, well, except @Lyya’s epic recital :stuck_out_tongue:

I’ll start a new topic. (But I loved that series @Jainus!)

This will probably sound familiar (at least it should), but here goes:

The preparation for the battle was intense.
We had forged our epic weapons,
Poking the imps to keep the forges burning.
We practiced our battle cries until
Late into the night until we needed a rest.
Watered our dryads to prepare them
For the coming fight; petted the owlbears
To reassure them that we would stand with them.
The treants were trimmed, the fairy dust ordered;
The goblins greased and the lightning bolts charged.
Our black beast had been buffed until his coat gleamed,
Matching the madness in his eyes.
Dragons were drawn up to their war chariots,
Their breath currently alight with a thousand flames.
Lastly we read our notes regarding the patching
In their defenses.

Their hero was a hulking brute,
A confused, mouth-breathing goblin abuser
With a nose too large and a silly name.
But they could not withstand our fury,
And went down with much heralded chaos.

After the battle was won, we celebrated reaching
Level 9001 by pouring an ale and partying with the orcs,
All the while singing our favorite sea shanties.


Love what you did there @RiverSong

This was on PS4 but it was a story all the same. It will be told by the pony who beat it. I never considered naming my hero after my own OC; I instead chose a canon pony’s name, a pegasus colt named Rumble. This was his tale… of the epic saga that was the fight against Mega Gorgotha.

Also, this was pre-1.9.

Rumble: sitting down, cider in hoof “So… here I was, having beaten many challengers to claim many rewards and even more resources, having cleared 17 questlines, and having a team that was nearly unstoppable before the patch utterly destroyed it. I speak of the tandem of Valkyrie/Alchemist/Druid/Banshee. We had won a great many battles, that team and I, and we sought a greater challenge. Luckily for me, one happened to pop its head out the bushes. One last questline, with the promises of great rewards at the end. I’m going to skip to the fight with Mega Gorgotha because we kind of flattened every other challenge. It was a hell of a figbt for sure, and when the final boss of 1.8 is a 20/50 with around 30 attack, I believe it was… you need RNGesus to not only smile, but do the dance of luck creation. After taking out Mega Gorgotha’s protectors, I was only left with my Banshee. My first thought immediately was, “Oh buck, I don’t think I can win this…” but my second thought was, “But I have to… for the fate of Krystara.” I searched feverishly for matches that wouldn’t help Mega Gorgotha as much as usual, and every time I saw a 4-match or more, I took it, whether natural or via transforming gems. After an arduous battle, my Banshee only has 6 HP left, Mega Gorgotha has 1HP. Rock Bitch-- yes, I’m calling MG that now-- has her Doomstones ready to go. If she catches 6 skulls in her spell, the world would be doomed. I braced for a loss, knowing the odds were on Rock Bitch’s favor. And then… a miracle. Rock Bitch only managed to catch 5 skulls in her explosions AND left me a skull match, which I happily took after calming down from the best outburst I had. Thunderlane would have told me to pipe it down but he saw what just happened. Krystara was saved, Rock Bitch is no more, and best of all, I obtained War and Peace as my reward. 'Twas an epic day.”

And that was the story of how I beat Mega Gorgotha on my first attempt.

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