Dark Pits - results of proof read


#1

Platform, device version and operating system:
Steam, Windows 7 x64

What you were expecting to happen, and what actually happened:

Here’s the full results of my proof read of Dark Pits:
(Italics used to show changes. All just my opinion.)

  • Cursed Touch trait: “…when dealing damaged.” – extra ‘d’ needs removing.
  • Into the Arena intro: “While traveling through the dim, murky Underworld…” – need to add the comma.
  • Into the Arena intro: “Fat rats are weak - beneath Tau.” – dash should be longer (an em-dash). Check other places you use a dash in-game.
  • Out of the Arena intro: “Tau smells bad things - Stinky Rats.” – dash should be em-dash; might read better as “Tau smell bad things”
  • Out of the Arena first quest: “Battle out of the arena.” doesn’t really mean anything. “Fight your way out of the arena.” might be better.
  • Out of the Arena epilogue: “Snakey Ladies have taught Rattigar” – ‘have’ needs to be removed; might sound even better as “teach” instead of “taught”.
  • Away from Danger intro: “with lightning.” “I see them too.” – except, maybe the Hero is mimicking Tau, here.
  • Away from Danger epilogue: “KILL me?!” might be better than “Kill ME?”
  • Away from Danger epilogue: “…We approached the exit from the Dark Pits.” – a bit pedantic of me.
  • Final Guardian intro: “Tau has a found a worthy Rattigar.” – first ‘a’ needs to be removed.
  • Final Guardian epilogue: “Maybe Tau find even HUGER rats to challenge!”
  • Capitalisation of quest names is not consistent with other parts of the game (or accepted usage). Should be: “Into the Arena”, “Out of the Arena”, “Away from Danger”.

That took me about 15 mins.

I’d be happy to proof read all quests for suitable, in-game recompense, using a format or system that works for you (the messageboard’s markup just isn’t up to the task).


#2

Love it! I’ll need to cross-reference/check a couple to help me remember, but I think I agree with most, both grammatical and stylistic :slightly_smiling_face:.


#3

So, I was not the only one who noticed this? :slight_smile:


#4

Anyone have money to hire me as a proof reader?
(Sadly, I’m not actually kidding.)


#5

Ask the developers. :wink:


#6

“Tau has a found a worthy Rattigar”…Maybe Tau is Mario’s brother??


#7

Hey, thanks Starlite.

Any text you see with an extra letter on the end was a victim of our localisation tool throwing a fit and deciding to extend every sentence by 1 character. Thank you localisation tool. It will be fixed soon-ish.

I’m not sure if the dashes will be changed but I’ll suggest it.

Tau is meant to be grammatically incorrect :smiley:

As for the capitalisation consistency issues, this is something we’re working on as a long term project :slight_smile:


#8

I did take into account that Tau was meant to be speaking strangely, so I still reckon the changes I’ve suggested are a good idea.

On a related note, a few days ago I noticed the word “Undeads” on screen. Unfortunately, I didn’t record it, though I think it was while selecting my Invasion team. “Undead” is a collective noun and its own plural, so should never appear with an ‘s’ on the end. Probably related to your localisation tool issue. In your position, I would search the text of the game for “Undeads”, though I guess that might not work. :man_shrugging:


#9

Em dash is one of those things that’s a victim of keyboards, sort of like “real quotes”. On the mac you can easily use ALT+{hyphen} to get em dash – but on Windows systems any punctuation not on the keyboard tends to require memorizing numbers. So if people use them it tends to be because a program like Word automatically converts hyphens for them.

That said, when programming, it’s also a crapshoot if a shaky text subsystem even handles em dash. Odds are the GoW systems display a blank space if they see an em dash. Unicode might be two decades old, but a remarkably depressing amount of software still believes ASCII and ANSI code pages are The Way.


#10

That’s because Windows APIs mostly have not embraced UTF-8, the One True Encoding. Whereas, UTF-8 is the norm in the Unix world and it Just Works.

I write all my software to always expect UTF-8 and if you send text in other encodings you will die. The end.

P.S. I hate UTF-16. Surrogate pairs are a gross hack. Also I blame UTF-16 for constraining the maximum code point to U+10FFFF.


#11

Nah, I’m going to counter that Windows devs haven’t embraced anything resembling Unicode.

Part of the divide between the NT and 9x kernels was that NT used UTF-16 as the default and MS started advocating for its use as early as Win2k. A big chunk of the Petzold book was devoted to “how to not ever have to worry about it” via some macros. When .NET released in the early 2000s, Encoding.Default is likewise UTF-16, as is Encoding.Unicode. Somewhere around Win8 I’m pretty sure the mandate was that new API had to be on the new platforms, with COM/C being the backwards compatibility layer. That’s evident in how every native UWP element and most WPF elements natively support the full range of emoji/Unicode, but the more classical WinForms elements only do so if you use specific fonts.

Regardless, I’m pretty sure if I ask a random question involving char <-> byte conversion of any random .NET dev there’s a huge probability they’d tell me to use Encoding.ASCII. Probably 75% of examples that get cargo-culted around do it. :mad:


#12

Therein lies the problem. UTF-16 sucks. If they had committed to UTF-8 from the outset, there’d have been no problems! :trollface: (I am aware that UTF-8 came out after Windows NT. But still.)


#13

Off-topic! :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

I maintain that @Starlite’s suggestions for Tau were also grammatically incorrect, as was intended for him, and were more stylistic suggestions (than grammatical) - many of which I liked/agreed with, and should be considered :slightly_smiling_face:.