[Closed]Attn: Guild Leaders, Your Chunky Needs You

Guild Chat
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I am Chunky Mono, and contrary to what you may have heard, I do not shoot Fireballs from my eyes, nor Lightning from my arse. And I absolutely do not have time to fight 900 Guild War battles on Mixer on a Sunday afternoon.

I am Chunky. I am an Orc Raider. I will not cry. So I need friends who will cry for me. And perhaps fight a few battles before rage quitting in the next war.

Long have I seen you. For a thousand days, I have watched you. Be you on Switch, PS4, PC or Mobile, I call upon you to think inside the XBox.

Get yourself an XBox, create a Gems account, and send your invite code to GamerTag: Chunky Mono… Get yourself an XBox…Get yourself an XBox…Get yourself an XBox…

Bracket 6 Guild Wars
Other Events optional

Give us one weekend a month, and two weeks a year, and together, we will reach Bracket 1. And many years from now, from this day to then, you will be able…just Get yourself an XBox. Or don’t. Maybe I’ll get a PC…and a PS4…and a Switch. And I’ll bring the fight to you there. Join the Horde, or be crushed by it.

:axe::rage::shield:

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Okay people, listen up; this is important:

Chunky’s Raiders is about to have a massive influx of new recruits once all the Switcheads, Ps4, and Pc/Mobiles get their Xboxes. As such, we will be requiring y’all to join the Chunky family of guilds expeditiously.

First come, first served, so Chunky’s Looters, Chunky’s Pillagers, and Chunky’s Vindicators are certain to go first. After that, Chunky’s Thieves, Chunky’s Elite Souls, and Chunky’s Unforgiven.

To ensure good order and discipline, and also provide a haven for players who hate GW, Chunky’s Texas Rangers and Dr. Chunky’s Medicine Women are also currently available.

Opportunities are limited; apply today. I’d like to get this family up and running prior to next week so y’all can fight my Dooms for me…oops, did I say that out loud? Scratch that…

We’ll be needing your Paragons and/or your Champions. Fret not: in return, we’ll send you one of our top earners. (Chunky’s Raiders is not responsible for top earners that get lost in transit. Not all top earners read Guild Chat, and are therefore not likely to know wtf is going on)

Let’s make this happen people. Only 20 days until the next GW. For the Horde. I am chunky mono, and I approve this message.

:axe::rage::shield:

NB: All your Guild are belong to us

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So, Guild Wars is now only six days away, and Chunky’s Raiders is still waiting to receive Paragons and/or Champions from some of you.

If for some reason I appear arrogant, please rest assured I am not. I may suffer from megalomania, delusions of grandeur, paranoia…manic depression…but I digress. I am not arrogant, I’m straight up loveable.

Perhaps the name thing is distracting. We could just as easily be The Guild of Raiders, The Unforgiven Raiders, Dark Elite Raiders…It Burns When I Raid doesn’t sound quite right. It Still Burns When I PvP. I personally don’t want to be reduced to a name and number. Not that I’m suggesting any of you all do.

I was 9 the first time I said something that cost me a friend. Maybe 8, it was a long time ago…Elspeth and I were sitting by a pond. It was spring, the sun was shining, and ducks were swimming in the water. I don’t know why I said it, but I told Elspeth “I don’t think I like Mab. She eats her boogers”. Elspeth replied “What’s wrong with that? So do I”. But…but…sewer rats, pumpkin pie…

Who needed them anyway? Mab was cold and frigid, Elspeth spoiled and uptight. Still, I could have used some assistance when the Blue Mana users came for me that fall. I could fight 1v3 in WoW. Real life is another matter.

Back when I drank, I preferred tequila. Vodka made me sick. But would I stop being a friend to someone because they preferred a different drink? Boogers should be no different. Join the Horde, and I promise you all, I will make no judgements.

If Love is just a function of Familiarity and Time, then Hate would mean we just haven’t spent enough time together yet. Join the Horde. Together, we shall prevail.

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