Lorekeeper I: Chapter 10 - Riders on the Storm

Great story, Sirrian! I did not expect half of Suncrest’s story to be still set at Shantang, with Penglong as the main character, no less!

He is still as wise as he is in the original Shantang’s questline. He even let the heroes ride him again. His jab at Luther’s unwise way is so passive-aggressive.

Tacola Taloca’s entrance is so majestic, worthy of being a Legendary creature! But as Penglong’s said, he is not that smart, as he get easily fooled by Amira, the master of deception.

Also, a mild spoiler...

No Fallen Valdis Lore? :sob:

I will put my hope up at the first half of Urskaya’s week then, as it’s Dimetraxia’s story. Darkstone’s week is still in Luther’s trio east path, so it’s probably still about them. Dimetraxia could have a surprise appearance though, as she is the questline’s Epic troop.

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Lolz. And reminded me how sick I got of hearing Sifu Yuan’s spell activation soundclip… the something mutter mutter power of the universe mutter… 'cos I was casting that spell a lot in last week’s invasion…

And now for nitpicks… as I know @sirrian values them… and it keeps my mind sharp for them in my own writing :smiley:

Couldn’t find many… but…

That should be a full stop not a comma after ‘here’.

These are all the same minor correction. Verbs like ‘smiled’, ‘bowed’, ‘looked’ etc here are action beats, and require a full stop, not a comma.

Never really thought about this, but does Penglong have legs? If not, I’m not sure he can leap. Perhaps someone can find the full size art and correct me.

I thought this was going to be the last chapter!

I’m so happy to be wrong, if it went on like this forever, I would thoroughly enjoy it.

Such an interesting direction with Amira being painted as such an intuitive and diplomatic character, I like that characterization.

I’m looking forward to chapter 11 to see where our characters end up next!

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Snakes can leap. :snake:

This may not be obvious to people not from Australia. :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

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Where did you get that information? Because it’s chapter 10?

This is Sirrian’s plan when he wrote the first Lorekeeper post, it should still be plan.

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I thought he said each chapter was to be about 2500 words and the total novella would be around 25,000 words. I don’t know the actual word count per piece, but they are all so good, I’m more than happy that they will continue the rest of the month.

Thank you for sharing that.

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He did said the total of 3-month story will be around 25,000 words on official announcement, but I can’t find anything about 2,500 words per story.

I assumed he already completed the “Lorekeeper I” story before even releasing its first chapter, and he used the word count app to get that 25,000 number.

Each chapter’s length will depended on the story detail, as this chapter have 2,173 words.

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Yep, my bad for assuming it was ending at 10, it’s been such a nice weekly treat, that if he could do it indefinitely I would be thrilled. :grin:

Amira does really well by using her cunning to solve the most impossible problems with some talk and humble behavior.

Penglong is always a great character with some unusual, but practical, wisdom. I might be reading too much in between the lines, but when he said:

“You can teach a shy man to roar like a lion,” the Dragon answered. “You can teach an angry man to be as gentle and kind as a lamb. You can teach a lazy man to be a hero.”

I can’t help but to think he was talking about his travelling companions:

  • Amira is not shy, but the whole nature of her skills are very silent and she can probably find some use in “roaring like a lion” if needed to, well she did used the Fammifier (a very chamative weapon) against the Megavore, so it’s not beyond her i believe.
  • Luther is very grumpy and angry most part of the time, but he might learn a thing or two with Amira about being tactful or gentle/kind when dealing with others.
  • Brian as useless and lazy as he seems he does have a heart of a hero, just not the proper skills, or the right opportunity, to prove himself yet.
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I don’t think you are, it likely to be intentional and subtle.

I’ve thought about that as well, but I linked it to the Three Dragons from the prophecy: Luther/Amira/Dimetraxia. Your reason to link it to Luther’s trio fit a lot better, so thanks for the analysis! ^^

Also, I wish the plot point of Amira is “The Dragon that will be” instead of Emperor Khosvash is concluded in “Lorekeeper I”. It drags on for too long now, and Amira is still refuse to read to letter she have been keeping for this whole time…

All I’m reading is “Penglong”. :heart:

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Angry Birds… :roll_eyes:

Penglong seems a tad racist towards them…

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It happens when your chickens become sentient beings and suddenly it’s wrong to eat them fried…

Jokes aside i think he just prefers to avoid conflict when he knows too well the temperament of some races. A self-important dragon would probably challenge the Stryxes and maybe wouldn’t live to learn that power can’t conquer everything without the wisdom to know how, and when, to use it properly.

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Please stop this. If you’re so sure that Sirrian appreciates your proofreading then why not PM him? The rest of us don’t need to read your pedantry and are capable of enjoying the story regardless of any minor mistakes. It’s utterly churlish to point out all the flaws in someone else’s writing without solicitation.

Is there any reason to post this here other than to make yourself look smart?

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BEST CHAPTER EVER!

I love the humor from Penglong and the intensity created from Taloca and the Stormriders.

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Frankly: if you don’t want to read my responses, just don’t. Go enjoy the story.

I’m not breaking any rules, or trolling anyone. I think things can be improved. Maybe they’ll get published one day. Maybe others reading will have hopes to write some day, and learn from my nitpicks. Maybe I just enjoy it. No need to get personal. Plenty of narky stuff gets written here that I just choose not to read…

Personally I think it’s extremely rude. But I’ll do as you suggest from now on.

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To be fair i don’t think Jainus pointed out these mistakes for any of the reasons you think he did. But well, that’s open to interpretation.

Personally, as a non-native english speaker, i don’t mind being corrected. I guess i just take it as an opportunity to improve myself, so i don’t see it with the same perspective as you.

As @Whiskeyjack said, it’s considered very rude to go through an artist’s work with a red pen without solicitation. This is especially true in this case since those “corrections” could easily be sent privately.

Anyway, on the topic of story, this was my favorite one. I adored every scene with Penglong in it. Also, the dramatic entry of the Stryx was truly well written. I can’t wait to read more.

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