# Porch Bunny Theft: A Tale of Mystery and Woe

**URL:** <https://community.gemsofwar.com/t/porch-bunny-theft-a-tale-of-mystery-and-woe/2349>\
**Category:** Off Topic\
**Created:** [December 25, 2015, 9:58pm UTC](https://community.gemsofwar.com/t/porch-bunny-theft-a-tale-of-mystery-and-woe/2349 "2015-12-25T21:58:13Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 4\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![Malkav](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex019/user_avatar/community.gemsofwar.com/malkav/32/3562_2.png) [@Malkav](https://community.gemsofwar.com/u/Malkav)\
**Post date:** [December 25, 2015, 9:58pm UTC](https://community.gemsofwar.com/t/porch-bunny-theft-a-tale-of-mystery-and-woe/2349/1 "2015-12-25T21:58:13Z")

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I wanted to come over here to the off topic forum to escape the unjust, prejudicial, narrow-minded bigotry ensuing, in other forums, against the friendly and loving Goblins of Krystara. Next time just try walking a mile in their tiny, tiny shoes before being critical. It ain’t easy being green, bro. Off the record, I think they are being reviled because of their small stature—summary below:

![](https://us1.discourse-cdn.com/flex019/uploads/gemsofwar/original/2X/1/18883b43ba4bd8663da71cec5840f100701a403a.jpg)

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But that is not why I am here. No, no, no. I am here to give you all a glimpse of unlawful activity; nay, of an overweening violation of morality and human dignity. In short, a recent real life crime that took place at my home.

Brace yourselves, this post just might put the emo in emotional. _ **WARNING:** _ If you are a bag-snatching, safecracking, purse pilfering, kleoptomaniac then you might want to stop reading here.

* * *

**This post goes out to the person who stole our stone porch bunny.**

- I hope that she gives you as much joy as she gave our family.

- I hope that she watches over your family as faithfully as she watched over ours.

- And I hope you stub the dickens out of your toe on her the next time you return home with more of your ill-gotten gain.

Vaya con Dios, beloved porch bunny!

 ![](https://us1.discourse-cdn.com/flex019/uploads/gemsofwar/original/2X/c/ca35ea162d2c1ab5041aacaff6ec024c20325f43.jpg)

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**Author:** ![esslee](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex019/user_avatar/community.gemsofwar.com/esslee/32/103072_2.png) [@esslee](https://community.gemsofwar.com/u/esslee)\
**Post date:** [December 25, 2015, 10:12pm UTC](https://community.gemsofwar.com/t/porch-bunny-theft-a-tale-of-mystery-and-woe/2349/2 "2015-12-25T22:12:05Z")

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So sorry for your loss 😥  
(but your post turned my frown upside down)

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**Author:** ![Malkav](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex019/user_avatar/community.gemsofwar.com/malkav/32/3562_2.png) [@Malkav](https://community.gemsofwar.com/u/Malkav)\
**Post date:** [December 25, 2015, 10:14pm UTC](https://community.gemsofwar.com/t/porch-bunny-theft-a-tale-of-mystery-and-woe/2349/3 "2015-12-25T22:14:37Z")

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I thank you. That makes me feel better.

For some reason, the police officer who took my statement said, “uh … sir … umm … you want to report the theft of a … a what?”

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**Author:** ![esslee](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex019/user_avatar/community.gemsofwar.com/esslee/32/103072_2.png) [@esslee](https://community.gemsofwar.com/u/esslee)\
**Post date:** [December 25, 2015, 10:17pm UTC](https://community.gemsofwar.com/t/porch-bunny-theft-a-tale-of-mystery-and-woe/2349/4 "2015-12-25T22:17:11Z")

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Maybe you’ll get a ransome note…(kit-napped)